Friday, September 25, 2009

I Thought That I Knew Pain

I have fibromyalgia.

I absolutely hate putting that into words. It makes it so real.

I also have quite a bit of pain.

I absolutely hate admitting that to anyone outside my family.

But, before I let myself focus on my disabilities let me introduce you to someone.

Becky Black

I have no pictures, no bio, nothing to tell you about this God-fearing, beautifully righteous woman except her own writing.

Please read what she has to say about PAIN. When you are finished, come back here.

I have nothing to fear, rail against or complain about.

But, I have so much for which to be thankful.

15 For all things are for your sakes, that grace, having spread through the many, may cause thanksgiving to abound to the glory of God.
16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day.

2 Corinthians 4:15-16

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Losing Confidence

In my younger days, (wow, I am getting older when I can actually say that and not feel silly), there was nothing that I would not attempt.

Any new idea or project that struck my fancy was fair game!

One dear friend certainly dreaded the continual chant, "You know what we could do"?

I'm feeling a lot less confident these days.

"Though a host should encamp against me..."

Actually, I'm just about worn down completely.

"my heart shall not fear..."

Where has the joy in living gone?

Each critique, each criticism, each helpful hint has begun to feel more like brick blows on my soul.

"though war should rise against me..."


I believe that I have been listening to too many voices.

Yes, much wise counsel is a wise, advisable, much needed blessing.

That isn't what I'm talking about...

I'm desiring to regain Godly confidence.

"in this will I be confident..."

Hmmm, perhaps my confidence is so easily shaken because I'm relying on man's approval instead of seeking this ONE thing.

"that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord, and to inquire in his temple. For in the time of trouble he shall hide me in his pavilion: in the secret of his tabernacle shall he hide me; he shall set me up upon the rock."

Where do I seek this joy?

"this ONE thing"

How does the strength return?

"Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord."

Where is my confidence found?

"Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ..."

Thank you, Lord.

Psalm 27:3-4;14
Philipians 1:6

Saturday, September 12, 2009

What If I Were THAT Honest!

For all of you wondering about my pledge, let me say that I have NOT purchased anything new and that I have made the following:

a pillowcase dress

a "cow" print apron

an apron for a friend's birthday

a skirt for Lydia

and a jumper dress

all from fabric out of my stash or from recycled items! Don't ask me for any patterns because I just made them up....(when I can get some pictures taken, I will share them with you)!

BUT, for today, I am wondering if I have the real courage, even the audacity to be completely honest.

As I read other ladies blogs (perhaps even a few gentlemen on occasion) it often occurs to me that I don't share my life quite as openly or vulnerably as many.

Sometimes I even read articles that I could easily have written myself.
My life experiences.

So similar. So exactly where I have been.

I even enjoy and agree with the fearlessness of many of these writers.

Why do not write those same things?

Perhaps, it is because they so often involve other people. These stories are not just MY story, but the story of others' pain, fears, or foibles.

I was reading one of my favorite books today. As the author shared testimony of things that had occurred to women at conferences where she had spoken, she never shared names, but she did reveal things that they had said.

I wondered if they liked seeing their ugliness, comments or problems "hung out on the line."

I wouldn't.

I guess, for now, I just can't be THAT honest!

"Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins."
I Peter 4:8

Monday, September 7, 2009

The Pledge

I've taken a pledge!

Boy, this one is really scary to me!

I've made a promise not to buy anything new to wear for two months.

Is this scary because I love to go clothes shopping?


This is scary to me because I'm taking a pledge to allow myself to be creative and to even make a bunch of mistakes.

Oh, how I hate making mistakes.

Oh, my pride!

I'm going to strike it a (hopefully) fatal blow.

I will be posting the things that I try to make. You may get to see some really ridiculous things here for a while, but here I go.

My husband has been hoping for this for a long time. He thinks that I may have a creative streak in me.

I surely hope he's right....

I __________________ pledge that I shall abstain from the purchase of "new" manufactured items of clothing, for the period of 2 / 4 / 6 months. I pledge that i shall refashion, renovate, recycle preloved items for myself with my own hands in fabric, yarn or other medium for the term of my contract. I pledge that I will share the love and post a photo of my refashioned, renovoted, recycled, crafted or created item of clothing on the Wardrobe Refashion blog, so that others may share the joy that thy thriftiness brings! Signed__________________.

(Disclaimer: I have not personally viewed every entry on this site. Please view with discretion.)